Pearls and Punch

In this installment of “Ask A Gay,” our resident ‘mo expresses his fondness for Thom Browne’s updated version of the “high-water.”

“Bring Your Inner Nerd, Because It Has Already Been Broughten!”

Laura B. and her bevy of uptight, Ann Taylor-loving cronies surely do not know what they are talking about when it comes to fashion. (They are dolts when it comes to just about everything else as well, but that is beside the point.)

Recently, Women’s Wear Daily reported that “[w]hen Thom Browne wore his signature high-waters to a reception at the White House hosted by Laura Bush for the winners of the Cooper-Hewitt National Design Awards, he ‘drew more than a few curious glances, including those from several military guards.’”

While I will admit that high-waters can go way wrong, when Thommy-boy rocks his short pants, he is hard to beat. The look is classy, yet edgy; sophisticated, yet quirky. Above all else, this look is HIP.

Suits should be form-fitting and tailored. Perhaps that is redundant, but what is most important is that Mr. Browne’s high-waters retain the impeccably tailored shape of a great suit, yet still manage to add a much-needed dose of character to an otherwise stodgy wardrobe staple. Just like the rolled-up sleeve, or a touch of cuff showing at the wrist, the high-water is a great accent. Of course, you need to have the right socks, but that should not be too difficult.

As someone who wears suits 4 or so days a week, I appreciate the flair that the high-water provides. I often get bored looking at people in suits, mostly because people tend to wear absolutely hideous-o ones, but, literally speaking, suits are boring – they cover the body in the same fabric from head to toe. With the high-water, though, your attention is drawn to the ankle, a new point of interest for the eye.

For some reason the high-water also makes me think of Huckleberry Finn or the film “Lean on Me,” but in a corporate setting, and hence, I am smitten.

I say embrace your inner nerd!

In the third installment of “Ask a Gay,” our resident ‘mo tackles one of fashion’s gray areas.

“Finally!”

I am glad people are finally recognizing the Silver Fox’s appeal. It’s about time.

Some say this new trend is a manifestation of the Green Movement’s fondness for all that is au naturel. I say it is just sexy. The Silver Fox is distinguished, accomplished and can pay for your $5 gallon of gas. I kid about the latter, but the Silver Fox has an air of intrigue that your “Average Joe” does not. Sean Kennedy, of The Advocate, recently did a bit on this issue, highlighting, among others, the ever-sexy Anderson Cooper (my hetero roommate and I affectionately call him “Andy”). Sean summed up my zest for the Silver Fox:

“I had seen silver foxes before, of course, and even counted some of them as friends, but this guy was different: He was stunning — lean, attractive, skin unblemished. With his stylish clothes, Ferragamo shoes, and palpable sense of ease, he was a paragon of desirability — and his thick gray hair only upped the sexy quotient. I wanted to sleep with him, date him, have his kids. And it was all the more enchanting considering this was in Chelsea in New York City, where the average gay guy still sports cargo pants and a fake tan. This man — and he was definitely a man — made the other guys look like mere boys.” – Sean Kennedy, “The Age of the Silver Fox” (The Advocate).

The Silver Fox is not only making his mark in the sex lives of the gays, he is also making his mark on the runway. Yohji Yamamoto peppered his runway show with a few “silvery” fellows. While I would not necessarily say that all of these guys captured the “fox” aspect of the Silver Fox, it is refreshing to see that the high fashion world appreciates their appeal.

“Hey, Raf”

Raf Simons tore the Italian runway to pieces. And he cut a whole lot of fabric out of your typical menswear.

I will admit that I am slightly partial to Mr. Simons because my go-to suit is a skinny, black gem from his 2008 Spring Suits Collection [Ed. note: I told you our resident gay was fabulous].

That being said, his Spring 2009 Collection is to men’s fashion what Balenciaga is to women’s – cutting edge. While many of his looks are somewhat effeminate (and I usually steer clear of particularly “queeny” looks), I appreciate them. They are new, different, and highly minimalist all at once. When I first took a look at the collection, I thought I saw a lot of mini skirts and other numbers that are just too off-the-wall for your average man, but the entirety of the collection ultimately blew me away.

Everything is very form-fitting, and many of the pieces are skin-tight. I find this look to be progressive, in that it adopts and adapts many trends that have characterized women’s fashion of late – especially the leggings look. I particularly like the bulky, square tops and the skinny bottoms. The minimal use of color is also rather refreshing, given that brights and even neons have become ubiquitous on the runway thanks to the hipster revolution. The collection to me is a stepping stone to glamorizing men’s fashion and highlighting its artistic nature, a notion only recently celebrated.

The limiting factor of this collection is that it is uberslim. Uberslim. The skin-tight look will most likely favor a singular body type – the “beanpole.”

In our second installment of “Ask a Gay,” our resident ‘mo breaks down the shorts-sportcoat phenomenon that has been plaguing the runways of late.

I have NEVER been a fan of the shorts-sportcoat combo. I have softened up to it a bit as summer rolls on, but the cynical gay still quickly tugs at me and says: “Psst. Look at that douchebag thinking he is so cool and hip.” That being said, I appreciate the look when done properly – snug and streamlined (short) shorts and a fitted jacket of sorts – and NOT the look of the frat brother who picked up a pair of Sevens and matched it with a hand-me-down sportcoat because the “hot” saleswoman told him, “Everyone is doing it.” I tend to prefer a bomber jacket or trench with shorts. The sportcoat does not jive as well, in my opinion, and is just too boy-ish and bulky for me.

Lanvin’s got the combo down to a tee. The trench adds a sense of sophistication to the look that the sportcoat lacks, and the imbalance of length and flow mesh really well.

The bomber jacket is also the prosciutto to the short’s melon. Right? Hermes’ cinched bomber helps create a fluid look – wide on top, streamlined at the waist and thigh. The short short is often uncomfortable and hard to pull off, especially for the chicken-legged among us, but the bomber’s cinched waist gives the shorts just the right impression of volume.

Louis Vuitton’s more formal interpretation of the combo is really spiffy, and it just works. Rarely do you see such a dressed-up version of this look, but perhaps ‘09 will be the year for that. The narrow tuxedo-style jacket pulls the ensemble together – the jacket and shorts meet at the waist, creating symmetry and resulting in an even transition from top to bottom. Also, the dress shoes add a touch of class.

One of our very best friends happens to be an outrageously stylish Los Angeleno of the homosexual persuasion. When he feels like taking a break from strutting around in his Miu Miu suits and suspenders, he’ll be giving us the gay perspective on fashion, which as we all know, is practically the only perspective that matters. Without further ado, our resident ‘mo answers the timeless question, “What’s the deal with the man purse?”

The “man purse” – I like to call it a “man bag” – is a tough call, especially because it is hard to pull off. While man bags range widely in size, style and function, more often than not, they simply end up looking like their less exotic cousin, the “woman’s purse.” I definitely promote choosing that which tickles one’s fancy, and a willingness to be innovative and daring are always appreciated, but the man bag works best when it is masculine in model and message.

I prefer to carry a vintage briefcase (I would show you the dark camel-colored leather gem of a legal briefcase, with tattered corners and my dad’s monogram, that dates back to the late 60s, which I snagged from his garage, but then H&M would have it in stores faster than fast). The legal briefcase, or similarly styled doctor’s bag, is masculine in shape, and spacious enough to hold all the essentials, especially those that I like to take out of the back pocket of my skinny jeans when I sit down at a restaurant, like my phone, wallet, keys and anything else that always manages to end up on the table. The interior of such a bag is often partitioned and thus convenient for you young professionals. Furthermore, the briefcase is usually held in the hand, unlike a women’s purse, which is often slung across the shoulder.

Another play on the briefcase is Marni’s Spring 2009 “briefcase-meets-clutch.” It straddles the line between masculine and effeminate, but in just the right way. It is not as clunky or heavy as a briefcase. And the size is about half an arm’s length, far greater than the average petite-sized woman’s clutch. You cannot go wrong with this guy.

You could go wrong, though, with Ralph Lauren’s Cooper Travel Bag. Not only is this bag virtually identical to its female counterpart, the Ricky Bag, it also has the potential of being worn just like the Ricky. And at that point, Ricky may as well change his name to “Rickita.” However, the Cooper Travel Bag does have a sleek, fashion-forward look, and could be carried much like the cherished legal briefcase. The color of this bag and the manner in which it is worn will determine whether it achieves full-fledged man bag status or is destined to remain just another sad sack.

Burberry Porsum’s man purse is where it all goes wrong. In fact, my friend was just telling me how much she wanted one of the men’s Spring 2009 purses. Once again, I am all for androgyny – when it is done right. But when the bag encapsulates the boho, slunk-under-the-shoulder look that moves in stride with pumps in hipster-heavy parts of NY and LA, my mind automatically sees the outfit as the proverbial “hot mess” [Ed. note: Yes, "hot mess" is a proverb in LA]. I say stay away from the (wo)man purse when it looks like this.